Friday, January 17, 2020

Six Things I Want From BioWare but Will Probably (Definitely) Never Get

A book about the fifth Blight in the point of view of a romanced Zevran
I just think it would be an interesting take on the whole thing. Start with Zevran accepting the job to kill the Wardens then follow the game. I don’t really care what Origin the Warden is from (I would totally prefer my male city elf but then I would have to write it… which I might…) but they have to romance Zevran and they’re totally in love with each other. I want pages of Zevran getting poetic over the Warden’s eyes and shit. I want a whole chapter of Zevran being confused by FEELINGS.


A game where you play as a Warden going through the Calling
My original idea was you play as your Warden from Origins during Inquisition. And you have your team from Awakening. Which would nicely explain where all those assholes were when there was a fucking hole in the sky. In the beginning of the game, there is this quiet sound in the background that you can’t quite make out. But by the end of the game, it is loud and distracting. Then it all just stops. And you get word that the Inquisitor has defeated Corypheus. That way the ending isn’t super depressing. I really just want a game with a background noise that starts out low and just gets louder and more distracting. I would kick ass at it because I’m so used to my family trying to have a conversation with me when I’m trying to save the world… or the galaxy… or the city…


DLC for Mass Effect: Andromeda
I will admit, Andromeda had its flaws. But it had such potential. And the ending felt like they were going to give me some DLC, and I was ready for it. I wanted to find those quarians, damnit! There were too many loose ends that could have been nicely tied up with a couple DLCs.


A book of translations of Dragon Age languages
I don’t need a detailed dictionary of Tevene words and phrases. I want just some basic words and phrases for each of the languages into English. Okay, this is mostly for fan-fiction purposes, but still, I want it. Wait, is that information in the World of Thedas books? Cause I need those for every reason…


A Remastered Knights of the Old Republic
BioWare did that one, right? If not, ignore this one. If so, continue reading. I looooove that game (both games, really) and I want an updated version. I want better graphics, really. That’s it. I don’t want it updated with new canon or anything. I wouldn’t mind being able to have a romance subplot, but that’s not necessary. But gods, imagine how great they could make that game look. Updated graphics and letting the main character talk would be enough for me to spend 60 bucks on it.


More DLC like the Citadel DLC for Mass Effect 3
I know that DLC was fucking weird as shit in the context of the game. Why the hell was Shepard having a party in the middle of a galaxy-wide war? And the clone thing? And I will admit I spent an entire day trying to get high scores on all the arcade games. But damn was it fun. And now I can’t help but imagine a DLC like that for every game I play. Just let me and my friends have a party and go on dates and try to get my friends laid, BioWare!

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