My Tier List of Starter Pokemon

 

There it is. My tier list.

I do not play Pokemon. I occasionally play Pokemon Go, but that's about it. So, I judged these little dudes based on their cuteness mostly. 

Thanks to my kiddo for typing out their names for me, cause I know Squirtle and that was about it. Well, I was pretty sure about a few others but wasn't sure enough so I just asked the kiddo to type the list for me. 

Commentary will be short. 

Tier One

Bulbasaur

I always thought Bulbasaur was a little cutie. 

 

Charmander

Fire. Dinosaur.

 

Squirtle

Squirtle is another one I always thought was adorable. Look at their little face!

 

Totodile

Kiddo has a stuffed one of these (kiddo has a lot of stuffed Pokemon), and it went to the eye doctor with them years ago. They and one of the assistants there geeked out over Pokemon for a few minutes. It was adorable. So, because of that memory, Totodile has a special place in my heart. 

 

Mudkip

Mudkip is fucking adorable. 

 

Chimchar

Fire. Monkey.

Piplup

Penguin!

 

Fennekin

Also adorable.

 

Rowlet

Owl!

Litten

Is this a fire kitty? I feel like this is a fire kitty. Fire. Kitty.

Tier 2

Cyndaquil

Not sure about this fella, but I think that is fire so I'm down with it.

 

Turtwig

Adorable little fella.

 

Froakie

Froakie is adorable but gives me weird vibes. I dunno. 

 

Fuecoco

Looks like an idiot. But in a nice way.

Tier 3

Chikorita

I bet this Pokemon takes an hour to get ready... I'm annoyed by them... 

Treeko

They just kind of look like an asshole...

Chespin

This Pokemon looks like a hyperactive child...

Popplio

They have a clown nose. I don't like clowns...

Sprigatito

It is cute, but it gives me horror vibes. Like, it's too cute. It will turn into a monster and eat my face.

 

Scorbunny

Sorry, but this dude looks like a Bugs Bunny rip-off... 

Tier 4

Torchic

I have issues with birds that are not penguins or owls. Sorry Torchic...

 

Snivy

 I feel like this Pokemon is judging everything I do and finds me lacking.

Tepig

Not sure what it is about this one, I just don't like it.

 

Oshawott

Is that a baseball on it's stomach?

 

Grookey

They just bother me. 

Sobble

I just imagine this one just never shuts up... 

Quaxly

You would think that this one looks like Donald Duck in Pokemon form would give it a higher ranking, but to me, it sort of looks more like a rip-off Donald Duck that you would find in a dollar store toy aisle. Ronald Duck.

And that's it. My tier list for Starter Pokemon. I apologize to all of the Pokemon fans because I know nothing about these characters, I just went by their cuteness level and the vibes I get from them. Tepig could be awesome, but I'll never know. 

Thanks to my kiddo again for humoring their mother and typing out the list of actual names for me. And also props to them for dealing with me renaming every Pokemon in my head and rarely remembering the actual name. No matter how many times they tell me what it is. Same for Ryan but I'm pretty sure he glares at me more. 

Also, these are my opinions. Don't comment to tell me I'm wrong. But if you want to have a fun discussion about which Pokemon give you weird vibes, comment away! 

And if anyone is curious, Snorlax is my favorite Pokemon. Love that sleepy dude. 

“I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.”

-Mitch Hedberg