6 Random Bits I Love in Video Games

 Note: Go here for a version of this post with gifs.

In case it hasn’t become obvious, I love video games. They’re fun and relaxing and let me live out a fantasy world where I actually do shit instead of staring at a wall thinking about doing shit. This is a list of random bits in video games that make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Slight spoiler for Mass Effect 3. 

The end. I get such a feeling of accomplishment when I finish a game. I am easily distracted. I lose focus on games a lot. So when I get all the way through and those end credits start rolling, I’m so proud of myself. And usually sad that it’s over. But mostly proud.

Petting Toby in Crimes and Punishments: Sherlock Holmes. If you put an animal in a video game and I’m gonna try to pet it. And petting Toby was even better because you got an achievement/trophy for it!

Meeting any historical figure in the Assassin’s Creed games. I’m a history nerd so I squeal like a fan-girl any time a historical figure strolls onto my screen while playing the Assassin’s Creed games. My favorite is probably Leonardo da Vinci. Though I sadly have only played up until Assassin’s Creed 3 and I’m probably missing out on a lot of historical figures. But I doubt Leo will ever get too low on my list of favorite real people in an Assassin’s Creed game. Even with all those pirates in Black Flag. Oh gods, I need to focus and get to that game. Need me some pirates in my life.

Getting anything accomplished in any Elder Scrolls game. Seriously. I get so distracted by everything in those games. I get lost when I can’t fast-travel to where I need to go. There’s always skulls and books I need to collect for my house. Random people are just standing around ready to send me on some random fetch quest. Children to adopt. It’s shocking that I get anything done. 

Using the Renegade Option to kill Kai Leng in Mass Effect 3. Fuck that guy. I hate him. I tend to play video games as a “Nice Guy”. Wait. No. I’m not a Nice Guy. I play as a good person. I avoid the mean dialogue options. I help every annoying little NPC that happens to mention needing help within my hearing range. I do the nice thing. All the time (well, most of the time). But the second that renegade option popped up I was on it. Fuck you, Kai Leng. Have fun in hell.

Getting an achievement/trophy. I’m not that focused on achievements. I spend pretty much no time trying to collect them. I think the only one I went out of my way to get was that Calendar Man one in Arkham City. Which was creepy as fuck, by the way. Loved it. But yeah. Achievements/trophies are not my goal when I play a video game. But gods if I don’t get all excited and make embarrassing noises when I get one.

6 of My Most Hated Parts of My Favorite Video Games

(also posted on my Tumblr - with gifs!)

Video games are great. I love video games. Love a day of just relaxing and playing a nice video game. Until I get to these parts. Then there is screaming and tears and just an overwhelming sense of dread. 

Okay, that’s not entirely true. I’m being dramatic. But fuck, do I hate these parts in some of my favorite video games.

There be spoilers ahead for Dragon Age: Origins mostly.

The Broken Circle in Dragon Age: Origins 

This part has become less hated by me the more often I play it. The first time I spent days stuck in the Fade. Screaming mostly. Now I can bust it out in a few hours with only the occasional scream. But even going in knowing I can easily make my way through it, and deal with the enemies thrown at me, every time I step into the Circle Tower my brain just starts screaming. 

Orzammar in Dragon Age: Origins 

Unlike the Fade, Orzammar still takes me days to get through. There’s all the actual Orzammar bullshit, plus the Deep Roads. Dear gods… The Broodmother. And that boss fight against Branka. Every time I think about playing Origins I just remember that part and start screaming. And then, after all that you get to help decide on a new king. Because of course you do. Bhelen is kind of a dick (and if you’re playing as a dwarf noble, even more of a dick). Harrowmont seems like a good dude. Ah, but you find out at the end of the game that Bhelen is probably the best option for the good of Orzammar. Fuck Orzammar. May the darkspawn take you. 

Night Terrors in Dragon Age 2 

And we’re back in the Fade. This time the Fade part takes an hour or so of gameplay. Fairly straightforward and almost easy. At least until all your companions start betraying you and you have to fight them. Except for Anders, which is shocking to anyone who has played this game to the end. So the best option is to just ditch everyone before heading into the Fade. Take Anders if you are feeling lonely, but Justice takes over and is kind of a dick. And make sure you say the right things to that sleeping guy or he’ll go a little crazy and beg for death. Besides all that, super fun times in the Fade.

Arrival DLC for Mass Effect 2 

As this is DLC, it is completely optional. And if you do complete it, the payoff is pretty decent in the third game. Not decent enough for me to have played this more than once. Fuck the Batarians. Not really, sorry guys. But ugh, this mission. And for reference on how much I hate this mission, I play all the other DLC (but the multiplayer stuff… Stephy no play multiplayer…). I get traumatized by Overlord every time, and cry every time. I play the fucking Hammerhead missions, guys! The Hammerhead! But Arrival? I look at that entry in my journal and just nope right out of there. 

Any timed mission in all the Assassin’s Creed games 

I am not good with timed missions. I turn into a complete moron if there is a timer onscreen. I forget how to play the game completely and can’t remember what button is what. Even though I was kicking ass right before the timer appeared. But for some reason, they seem worse in the Assassin’s Creed games. Races and such never get done if I don’t have to do them. They’re just constant little reminders on my map about how I am a failure at running. And if a main mission has a timed portion, you better believe it is going to take me at least five times to get past it. 

The vaults in Mass Effect: Andromeda 

I fucking hate these things. I start panicking the second I step into one and it just gets worse the longer I am in one. The worst part is the fucking death clouds. I think I have been killed by those maybe twice. And each time it was something silly. You know, shit like getting stuck behind a barricade because I didn’t see it for whatever reason. But as soon as I hit that button for the death cloud I start screaming and don’t stop until I am on the planet’s surface again. A close second to the worst part of these things is some of the puzzles I have to go through just to get to the death cloud. There are a couple that I cannot do without looking up a walkthrough. Though, in the game’s defense, sometimes I just get frustrated trying to do puzzles and give up earlier than I should. Then the next time I play I’m like “Oh yeah! Now I get it!” But still, I hate them. Fuck the vaults. May the darkspawn take them. Wait. Wrong Bioware game. 

That’s it from me on this subject. For now. I mean, there are more bits in games I hate. I just hate so much…

Review: Tales from Jabba's Palace

Tales from Jabba's Palace by Kevin J. Anderson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



View all my reviews


Warning: Spoilers ahead for book and The Mandalorian.

This is one of my favorite Star Wars books. As well as Tales of the Bounty Hunters and Tales From Mos Eisley. These are from the old Expanded Universe canon. So no story about how Bib Fortuna takes over, gets almost as big as a Hutt, and then gets shot by Boba Fett.
The stories all take place at the same time, which is when Leia and the gang come to Jabba's palace to save Han.
There are so many plots going on. I don't mean plot lines. I mean plots to kill Jabba. So many. I almost made a spreadsheet to keep them all straight.

Here's a list of the stories with extremely short summaries.

A Boy and His Monster: The Rancor Keeper's Tale by Kevin J. Anderson
Rancor dies. Keeper sad.

Taster's Choice: The Tale of Jabba's Chef by Barbara Hambly
Gets thrown in a cell for maybe poisoning Jabba. He wasn't...

That's Entertainment: The Tale of Salacious Crumb by Esther M. Friesner
Annoying fuck gets a dude killed.

A Time to Mourn, A Time To Dance: Oola's Tale by Kathy Tyers
She dies.

Let Us Prey: The Whiphid's Tale by Marina Fitch and Mark Budz
What happened in this one? I think he killed a monk?

Sleight of Hand: The Tale of Mara Jade by Timothy Zahn
Mara Jade fails to kill Luke Skywalker

And Then There Were Some: The Gamorrean Guard's Tale by William F. Wu
This guard ain't solving shit.

Old Friends: Ephant Mon's Tale by Kenneth C. Flint
Ephant Mon gets out before shit goes down.

Goatgrass: The Tale of Ree-Yees by Deborah Wheeler
Pretty sure this guy died...

And The Band Played On: The Band's Tale by John Gregory Betancourt
Sy let Max act as bandleader. They get paid in food.

Of the Day's Annoyances: Bib Fortuna's Tale by M. Shayne Bell
He gets his brain put in a jar.

The Great God Quay: The Tale of Barada and the Weequays by George Alec Effinger
All dead. Also, these Weequays are not smart.

A Bad Feeling: The Tale of EV-9D9 by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens
Sadistic droid dies.

A Free Quarren in the Palace: Tessek's Tale by Dave Wolverton
Brain in jar.

Tongue-tied: Bubo's Tale by Daryl F. Mallett
Brain in jar. But happy about it.

Out of the Closet: The Assassin's Tale by Jennifer Roberson
No gayness. Just soup.

Shaara and the Sarlacc: The Skiff Guard's Tale by Dan'l Danehy-Oakes
Dude is telling Boba Fett a story. Then he dies.

A Barve Like That: The Tale of Boba Fett by J.D. Montgomery
Boba Fett kills the Sarlacc. Maybe.

Skin Deep: The Fat Dancer's Tale by A.C. Crispin
Escapes the palace, gets her children back, falls in love.

Review: Once Upon a Dream

Once Upon a Dream by Megan Derr
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I got this for free on Kindle and had no expectations. Free books for the Kindle are hit or miss. A lot of time they are misses, for me. But this was a massive hit for me. The whole book is just short stories that are rewrites of classic fairy tales. But gay. So many dudes falling in love with dudes and being all cute and junk. Loved it. Loved every second of it. Screamed to my best friend about how great it was. Can't wait to read more of the writer's work.

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Six More Things That Are Overdone (Give me more)

 Hidely-Ho, Neighborinos.

That was weird... I'll... I will not do that again... 

Yes, I will.

Okay, little update first, then onto the actual post.

The writing challenge is going well. Haven't missed a day, even on days when I had shit going on, I still pulled a post out and got it done. A lot of the stories are kind of shit, but I still got the goal done, and it's giving me lots of ideas for longer things later. If you want to read the story things go here.

Now, onto the actual post! Told you it was a little update...

That Is So Overdone… Give Me More (Part 2)

1. “I’m okay, I’m okay” then promptly falls over. You lose points if they’re dead. I’m not here for death.

2. Snarky Butlers. If your butler is not snarky, I don’t care about them. Simple as that.

3. Mutual Pining. This is only a good thing for so long. If you drag out the mutual pining and never let the characters get together, it’s just going to annoy me. 

4. Unusual Friendships. Things like the neat freak and the slob. The ray of sunshine and the grumpy grump (this friendship trope is the exact reason I started reading Witcher fan-fiction). The jock and the nerd. Cheerleader and goth girl. Now, this only works if the friendship is also one where you can tell they love each other with no question. I also dislike this trope if they end up in a situation where, for example, the cheerleader goes off with the other cheerleaders and starts making fun of the goth girl, but in the end learns the meaning of true friendship. No. Give me the cheerleader that stands up against the other cheerleaders because that goth girl is her friend.

5. Unusual Terms of Endearment. Dear, darling, sweetheart, babe, and all of those are fine and dandy. But give me significant others that call each other weird things. 

6. Breaking stereotypes. My favorite example of this is Elle Woods. She is the stereotypical pretty, blonde girl that loves fashion and other “girly” things but then she is hella smart. And an absolute sweetheart. Give me a goth girl that giggles and squeals over cute animals. The jock who is friendly and smart. The nerd that can talk to girls... 

That's all for this go. Gotta go get something written up for that writing challenge. 

So, I'm Doing a Writing Challenge

 And I'm already failing. Awesome.

Anyways.

NaNoWriMo is this month. And I am not joining that. Cause I suck at it. Not setting myself up for that failure this year. 

Gonna set myself up for a different failure. 

Sorry. Bad mood. Trying to ignore it.

I love writing and reading AU (Alternate Universe) fics. Looooove it. Unhealthy obsession with it really. That includes Soulmate AUs. And over the years I have collected quite a list of them that I keep saying "someday I'm gonna write something with that". And now I'm going to. Even made a spreadsheet. 

I love spreadsheets... 

Here's the challenge part of this.

I'm going to (try very fucking hard) write something for as many of these AUs as I can, for various fandoms that I write in. I want to try and do one a day, but I know that will not happen. Between family obligations and homeschool stuff and my brain fucking hating me most days, I know I can't focus on this as much as I want to. But I am giving myself a little bit of an out. Not really an out. I'm not forcing myself to finish entire stories. As long as I get over 100 words, I will consider it done. Well, done enough to post on Archive of Our Own. And, maybe later, I'll go back and write more. 

This is really just for me. I need to find something to focus on that isn't Covid, politics, family shit, and homeschool. I'm really on edge and spend most days trying to talk myself down from panic attacks. And I hope that as I sort of complete these I'll have that little feeling of accomplishment and get myself in a better mood. And maybe other people will enjoy them. I dunno. 

Well, that's all.